Now presenting internet cult leader Lowtax
Dear Richard.......
You lacked acceptance your entire life which turned you to the dark sides of the internets. You plowed through trashy girlfriends, dropped out of college, sold your soul to e-commerce while all the while maintaining your addiction to pirated music, movies and pornography. Do you still use newsbin to collect beastiality and underage pornography? Have you victimized your own daughter when your wife was not around? Yes... it is true, Richard was always a newsgroup junkie and found a lot of enjoyment in the wonderful undernet world that newsgroups always were.
Now Richard enjoys his status as a cult leader and he acts oblivious to the fact that he is one. He will quickly lash out against anyone that inconveniences his life or quote steals end quote the very content posted on a public domain that he uses in his front page updates. Yet when his own life is inconvenienced, he unleashes his goon squads out to attack anyone simply by mentioning the fact he does not like the specific website, profile, person or company. He lives to harass people while hiding behind as much of a curtain as the internet allows while believing that there will never be any sort of reprimand.
Something Awful has brought such great things to the internet. Countless people humiliated who never once did anything to deserve it. Cliff Yablonski one of Richard's numerous personalities often posted various pictures stolen (that is the word right Richard?) from people's photo albums and then used to embarrass or humiliate them to a mass of people. The Awful link of the Day continues to this day even though Richard is fully aware that his community of schitzophrenic sociopaths spam the targets email address, chat names and guest books. Some even call and harass the people behind the site. Something Awful also created the largest community of brainwashed sheeple on the internet. A forum that rejects you unless you have a credit card and then even rejects you once you sign up for a variety of mystery rules. You suddenly have status as part of an insider type club when you become a goon. You "get it" and others simply do not. You are special, you have friends who will have your back if you need body armor in a war or need to use the services of e-detectives to find a girl that you want to rape. All at the cost of $10 can you join the ranks of the brainwashed social outcasts that the Something Awful Forums brings you.
Movies, Music, Pornography, Files. Keep banning those people for files! It's ok, RabidLeper or any of the other admins will usually track you down and give you an updated URL to the file sites. They aren't associated though just like DPPH, NMP3s and BTB never existed. Richard Lowtax Kyanka never made money off piracy forums. Someone else must have made them because Richard Kyanka never noticed that they were hosted since he spent all his time in GBS and FYAD. Shucks, how can you expect an uneducated college dropout to pay attention to little file forums especially when they're drawing in the majority of the new members for over two years? Richard Kyanka is like a rapist who suddenly decides to stop raping people except Richard still offers a safe haven for rapists he befriended as long as they keep making him money. Once you stop doing a crime, you are immediately IN THE CLEAR and no longer have anything to worry about. This is often proven by child molesters who are fingered (lol) by their victims later. As long as you don't molest kids anymore no harm done!
Lowtax, Ozma, BBQ, Wilkins, IceQueen, Radium, FistGrrl and all of the other flake admins will fight to the end to protect their leader much like North Korean communists protecting Kim Jong Il. They do not make money to do so, they only thrive off their believe that they are close to and important to the taxmaster. Sadly it will most likely end in tragedy and Lowtax and his tight ring of supporters are no where near eachother in the real world. One day Lowtax is going to make someone break which will end in his own demise and perhaps his own families. How many people outside of his own cult though would believe anything but that the warning signs were there when Lowtax continued harassing people?
Whether Lowtax ends up in a coffin or a jail cell or dead from a stress induced heart attack, his fate will most likely be unpleasant. His community will most likely continue to thrive much like Scientologists have continued to exist after the loss of Mr.Hubbard himself. Something Awful however will always be a dangerous cult. A place to find the correct ammunition for murder. A place to call people niggers and jews before going out to kill niggers and jews. A place to link up to download music and movies and games and pornography. Finally, a place to find acceptance when the rest of the world calls you insane. Nothing society says matters anymore once you are accepted as a goon.
This is the beginning.
You lacked acceptance your entire life which turned you to the dark sides of the internets. You plowed through trashy girlfriends, dropped out of college, sold your soul to e-commerce while all the while maintaining your addiction to pirated music, movies and pornography. Do you still use newsbin to collect beastiality and underage pornography? Have you victimized your own daughter when your wife was not around? Yes... it is true, Richard was always a newsgroup junkie and found a lot of enjoyment in the wonderful undernet world that newsgroups always were.
Now Richard enjoys his status as a cult leader and he acts oblivious to the fact that he is one. He will quickly lash out against anyone that inconveniences his life or quote steals end quote the very content posted on a public domain that he uses in his front page updates. Yet when his own life is inconvenienced, he unleashes his goon squads out to attack anyone simply by mentioning the fact he does not like the specific website, profile, person or company. He lives to harass people while hiding behind as much of a curtain as the internet allows while believing that there will never be any sort of reprimand.
Something Awful has brought such great things to the internet. Countless people humiliated who never once did anything to deserve it. Cliff Yablonski one of Richard's numerous personalities often posted various pictures stolen (that is the word right Richard?) from people's photo albums and then used to embarrass or humiliate them to a mass of people. The Awful link of the Day continues to this day even though Richard is fully aware that his community of schitzophrenic sociopaths spam the targets email address, chat names and guest books. Some even call and harass the people behind the site. Something Awful also created the largest community of brainwashed sheeple on the internet. A forum that rejects you unless you have a credit card and then even rejects you once you sign up for a variety of mystery rules. You suddenly have status as part of an insider type club when you become a goon. You "get it" and others simply do not. You are special, you have friends who will have your back if you need body armor in a war or need to use the services of e-detectives to find a girl that you want to rape. All at the cost of $10 can you join the ranks of the brainwashed social outcasts that the Something Awful Forums brings you.
Movies, Music, Pornography, Files. Keep banning those people for files! It's ok, RabidLeper or any of the other admins will usually track you down and give you an updated URL to the file sites. They aren't associated though just like DPPH, NMP3s and BTB never existed. Richard Lowtax Kyanka never made money off piracy forums. Someone else must have made them because Richard Kyanka never noticed that they were hosted since he spent all his time in GBS and FYAD. Shucks, how can you expect an uneducated college dropout to pay attention to little file forums especially when they're drawing in the majority of the new members for over two years? Richard Kyanka is like a rapist who suddenly decides to stop raping people except Richard still offers a safe haven for rapists he befriended as long as they keep making him money. Once you stop doing a crime, you are immediately IN THE CLEAR and no longer have anything to worry about. This is often proven by child molesters who are fingered (lol) by their victims later. As long as you don't molest kids anymore no harm done!
Lowtax, Ozma, BBQ, Wilkins, IceQueen, Radium, FistGrrl and all of the other flake admins will fight to the end to protect their leader much like North Korean communists protecting Kim Jong Il. They do not make money to do so, they only thrive off their believe that they are close to and important to the taxmaster. Sadly it will most likely end in tragedy and Lowtax and his tight ring of supporters are no where near eachother in the real world. One day Lowtax is going to make someone break which will end in his own demise and perhaps his own families. How many people outside of his own cult though would believe anything but that the warning signs were there when Lowtax continued harassing people?
Whether Lowtax ends up in a coffin or a jail cell or dead from a stress induced heart attack, his fate will most likely be unpleasant. His community will most likely continue to thrive much like Scientologists have continued to exist after the loss of Mr.Hubbard himself. Something Awful however will always be a dangerous cult. A place to find the correct ammunition for murder. A place to call people niggers and jews before going out to kill niggers and jews. A place to link up to download music and movies and games and pornography. Finally, a place to find acceptance when the rest of the world calls you insane. Nothing society says matters anymore once you are accepted as a goon.
This is the beginning.

42 Comments:
DEAR RICHARD
I feel good now that I know I am a rapist in denial. It's this liberating feeling that makes me want to hire e-detectives to hunt down your mom so I can rape her while wearing body armor my goon friends bought me.
Also, can at least make a pretense of learning English? Your style of writing shows your lack of a proper education and it's kind of distracting when I'm trying to read your poorly constructed prose.
tldr
Are you for real?
LOL! PWN!
At least show some supporting evidence for these so called facts that you made up yourself using your elite MS calculator skills.
Those brainwashed bastards! My friend was fighting in Iraq. Actually he is just my internet friend, he and I met when he posted an e/n thread about being scared and lonely and having no one to talk to; I got to chatting with him via PM and we're friends now. Anyhoo, do you know what those brainwashed sociopaths did, those schizophrenic rapists did? Those bastards raised tens of thousands of dollars to buy him body armor when his government had already deemed it an unnecessary precaution. Can you believe those dastardly sons-of-bitches. Down with SA.
So what did you get banned for?
to the anon who posted at 7:22 PM
"I feel good now that I know I am a rapist in denial" etc. Please every time someone accuses someone else of using bad grammer on the internet instead of presenting a counterargument a thousand debaters scream out and then go slient.Oh and stop with the weak sarcasm he was using an analogy for the piracy issue and you know it :/
your a fucking faggot dude
go die somewhere ass.
That's weird. I stop by SA more or less every day and its creators, every last one of them, are absolutely helpless to affect my life in any tiny way. That's a pretty feeble "cult" if they can't even cuff me to a bed or force-feed me water or something.
Where's pornography on the SA site? I'm not a member of the "cult", as you put it, and I still have yet to find pornography on the site. I'm being deprived, dammit!
ME LIEK RAVAGE INNOCENT YOUNG GIRLS
Haha yes obviously a cult leader "lacks acceptance".
...I was under the impression that they only allowed "porn" ads (ie J-List) after some sort of funding crisis, during which Lowtax ran the site with his own money?
Pretty serious to accuse him of victimizing his own daughter... you sound like Benzino saying he's going to kidnap Eminem's daughter, ie saying something off the wall because you are so much tinier than him.
Also its odd that you know the names of the forum moderators and all that... I read the site probably daily, I like SA, and I dont even know the forum moderator's names. I'm so sorry you got banned.
Look, Ma... I'm a cultist!
MMM A HOT BOWL OF RAPE
lol, Internets
The amount of Unfacts in here are hilarious! Keep up the good work and you might get an article on Something Awful!
Look at this gem!
People so sick and twisted that they would defend a man that previously got off to the most sickening and disgusting pictures known to man especially those involving children.
There must be, like 42 Unfacts here, which is pretty damn good considering there's less then 42 words here!
Dance with me poor Horatio!
TYPE DESU AGAIN!!!!!!!!1one
Wow, I never knew SA fomented all that. I wonder now why people get banned or permabanned in the forums when they request drugs, post porn, make pedophile comments and say racist shit.
I guess you are one of those "writers" who don't even bother to research your topic and just go with what you think will atract readers. And please, take some writing lessons, thisarticle was poorly written.
POST!! LOL INTRAWEB
Oh god...he's right. He's right! Why, just the other day I was enjoying the latest Photoshop Phriday when I realized that while doing so, I was EATING A BABY!
SOMETHING AWFUL MAKES YOU EAT BABIES!
What I wanna know is...
where da warez at? I want teh warez!
lol get a life dude
he rights funny shit on the internet end of story
so please just go get a job and make yourself useful to society
awww, you really do love SA, look at all the time you put into this! That's so cute, I remember as a child I too used to throw mud pies, rocks, and glass at the ones i adored so much on the playground.
Yeah, SA is all about murdering black people and jews.
Fucking retard..
What did you get banned for?
efb :-(
It's just bizarre that you care so greatly about a webforum... You should probably go take a walk outside or something, adjust your priorities you know?
Hah!
I don't get it. At SA, if anything regarding piracy is even mentioned it's like an insta-ban. Your post is retarded.
Damnit, looks like I'm missing all the good shit by reading the site but not the forum.
On a sidenote, what's a schitzophrenic? And why haven't I seen a single sentence that remotely looked like a constructive, factual argument to serve as evidence for these ever-slightly wild claims about SA and Lowtax?
You're just saying that because you're a nigger-jew.
Bwahahahaha!
This is so pathetic it's sad. You try to write a humor blog to compete with SA, and you can't even do it well!
Who are you, Uwe Boll?
Please, get a life, and don't give up your day job to write on the 'net. Your flavor of jealousy of someone else's success is really pathetic.
Maybe you should devote your time to something a little more constructive. Finger painting perhaps? You could probably get pretty good at that.
Wow, you present about as many "fair and balanced facts" as FOX News. Isn't the internet a great thing? You can run a personal vendetta on a 'cult' of people that basically just enjoy reading entertaining articles in their free time.
And as for the 'racism,' were you referring to the "Awful Link of the Day" section? Perhaps you don't understand irony- judging from what you wrote, I'd say you can't read well. Either way, the "Awful Link" provides a link to a website which the writers of SA either abhor, condemn, or just find downright pathetic. They do not condone any of the things of which you accuse the site.
A fifth-grader doing a project could do better fact-checking and researching job than you. Maybe you should write with something other than your blind opinions to back you up.
This blog isn't me.
You don't honestly take the internet this seriously do you?
Why so bitter man? SA is a satire/humor site. By definition its going to be hypocritcal and piss people off.
Also please go take college composition again, the C- you squeaked by with clearly isnt cutting it. Even in "teh l337 1n73rn37s"
he forgot to sign off with "lol-chuck norris !!!1eleventy"
Wow, you sure have a lot of free time on your hands. I didn't realize a dangerous "cult" lurked behind a satirical website, but thanks for the thousands of words and proabably hundreds of hours you spent to tell us about SA's evil creator.
I hope someday you find the courage to accept being banned from SA forums and once again venture outside the confines of your tiny, dingy little apartment.
Ehi what's the matter with the "murder ammonitions" and the girl raping? Incoherent rambling or what?
You have a point.
tl;dr
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